arcadia30 (arcadia30) wrote,

hey all, my lj buddy jonbeckett403 did a entry about some observations some american did about his stay in britain.

some may say its on point, but i found myself groaning..and heres why:

Almost everyone is very polite (depending on if we're in a car or not)
The food is generally outstanding (depends on where you go and what your tastes are)
There are no guns (There are, but are difficult to get access to)
There are too many narrow stairs
Everything is just a little bit different
The pubs close too early
The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards (actually the first car made, was made in italy or britain i think - dont quote me on that, but consequently it is the americans who have their cara built 'backwards')
Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms.
You'd better like peas, potatoes and sausage (You dont, there are many other varieties of foods available when eating out)
Refrigerators and washing machines are very small
Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter
People don't seem to be afraid of their neighbors or the government (HA!)
Their paper money makes sense, the coins don't (okay...but further down the list you say they do...)
Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare (Not everyone has a washing machine, but most do)
Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them?
Pants are called "trousers", underwear are "pants" and sweaters are "jumpers"
The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling (I'm sorry but that gives the impression that there is a string hanging from the ceiling in which we use as a light! )
"Fanny" is a naughty word, as is "shag" (Both phrases not really used much anymore, but twat and fuck are still well in use!)
All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar. (Unless theyre not covered in teas or graffiti)
There's no dress code (Some places do)
Doors close by themselves, but they don't always open
They eat with their forks upside down (Nope, some people do, but some like myself use forks like shovels)
The English are as crazy about their gardens as Americans are about cars (I hate gardening.)
They don't seem to use facecloths or napkins or maybe they’re just less messy than we are (we do use napkins, we have napkins near enough everywhere! even in greasy spoons!)
The wall outlets all have switches, some don't do anything (facepalm)
There are hardly any cops or police cars (again, depends on where you live and the crime rate of that area.)
5,000 year ago, someone arranged a lot of rocks all over, but no one is sure why
When you do see police they seem to be in male & female pairs and often smiling (really?! )
Black people are just people: they didn't quite do slavery here (Ohhhh this is offensive to the core! we did have slavery here, but we outlawed it way way before the americans!)
Everything comes with chips, which are French Fries. You put vinegar on them (if you like vinegar)
Cookies are "biscuits" and potato chips are "crisps"
HP sauce is better then catsup
Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot.
After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food
The water controls in showers need detailed instructions (seriously? im not sure what detailed instructions are needed to understand that the blue line is cold water and the hot line is hot....)
They will boil anything (actually we rarely boil things nowadays)
Folks don't always lock their bikes (haha oh yes we do! england is not some crime free utopia!)
It's not unusual to see people dressed different and speaking different languages
Your electronic devices will work fine with just a plug adapter
Nearly everyone is better educated then we are (depends on who you meet, some will be university educated, some will just have secondary schooling)
If someone buys you a drink you must do the same (Not always, that is only ever done if someone says 'i'll get the first round')
There are no guns
Look right, walk left. Again; look right, walk left. You're welcome. (Eh?! you look right to see approaching traffic and walk straight, you look left to see other approaching traffic, but most of the time you look both ways before crossing the road)
Avoid British wine and French beer (O.o really?)
It's not that hard to eat with the fork in your left hand with a little practice. If you don't, everyone knows you're an American (Clearly i and some other fellow britonians are closet americans then! because again...doesnt really matter and its an individual thing)
Many of the roads are the size of our sidewalks
There's no AC (There is AC, in most places, just not in the home)
Instead of turning the heat up, you put on a jumper (Depends, you can do both tbh lol)
Gas is "petrol", it costs about $6 a gallon and is sold by the liter (litre)
If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Period. Always (Not always. Period.)
You don't have to tip, really!
Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Cornwall really are different countries (No theyre not.)
Only 14% of Americans have a passport, almost everyone in the UK does
You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in
Walking is the national pastime
Their TV looks and sounds much better then ours
They took the street signs down during WWII, but haven't put them all back up yet (Wow, where did this guy visit?! must've been somewhere quite rural)
Everyone enjoys a good joke
There are no guns
Dogs are very well behaved and welcome everywhere (Not always, and they certainly are not welcome everywhere! There are parks that prohibit dogs from entering, all but a few shops dont allow dogs to enter unless its an aid dog, and most if not all beaches in the UK dont allow dogs on them. Unfortuently most people ignore that rule)
There are no window screens (Seriously?! yes there are!! LOOOOADS!)
You can get on a bus and end up in Paris (Not quite, unless you mean a coach)
Everyone knows more about our history then we do
Radio is still a big deal. The BBC is quite good
The newspapers can be awful
Everything costs the same but our money is worth less so you have to add 50% to the price to div what you're paying
Beer comes in large, completely filled, actual pint glasses and the closer the brewery the better the beer
Butter and eggs aren't refrigerated (The butter is ALWAYS refrigerated!)
The beer isn't warm, each style is served at the proper temperature
Cider (alcoholic) is quite good.
Excess cider consumption can be very painful.
The universal greeting is "Cheers" (pronounced "cheeahz" unless you are from Cornwall, in which case it's "chairz") (Jesus fucking christ! The universal drinking phrase is 'cheers', but actually greetings can vary from person to person and for place to place)
The money is easy to understand: 1-2-5-10-20-50 pence, £1-£2 coins and £5-£10, etc bills. There are no quarters.
Their cash makes ours look like Monopoly money
Cars don't have bumper stickers
Many doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America
By law, there are no crappy, old cars (This one im personally offended by, because my family have a rich, steep history of driving old, crappy cars! We are everywhere!)
When the sign says something was built in 456, they didn't lose the "1" (They might've lost the '1')
Cake is is pudding, ice cream is pudding, anything served for desert is pudding, even pudding
BBC 4 is NPR
Everything closes by 1800 (6pm) (Nope most shops start closing at 5, most shops are closed by 6:30pm, unless theyre a supermarket that stocks alcohol which means they can be open alot later and in some cases open all night)
Very few people smoke, those who do often roll their own
You're defined by your accent
No one in Cornwall knows what the hell a Cornish Game Hen is
Football is a religion, religion is a sport
Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse
The trains work: a three minute delay is regrettable (The trains are frequently delayed or cancelled, we are a nation of replacement bus services)
Drinks don't come with ice (Drinks nearly always come with ice)
There are far fewer fat English people
There are a lot of healthy old folks around participating in life instead of hiding at home watching tv (And many, like my parents who dont. Who prefer to sit at home and watch tv)
If you're over 60, you get free tv and bus and rail passes. (You only get free tv if youre aged over 75)
They don't use Bose anything anywhere
Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste (Depends on your behaviour and attitudes with it)
Every pub seems to have a pet drunk
Their healthcare works, but they still bitch about it
Cake is one of the major food groups
Their coffee is mediocre but the tea is wonderful
There are still no guns
Towel warmers!

After reading it through, im pretty sure this guy may have accidentally walked through the set of The Old Summer Wine and thought it was a true representation of england.

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